How Language Makes You Stuck

How Language Makes You Stuck!

This past weekend I was having a BIG come apart and feeling extremely sorry for myself. All I could think about was what I wasn’t able to achieve in my life and business because of my circumstances.  I’m sure you have never done that?? But just in case you have, I spent some time reflecting on my current mindset so I could figure out specifically what was going on.  Finally, I realized my negative outlook was the result of my language and self-talk. I was using seemingly innocent words to sabotage myself.

1.     The FIRST thing I noticed was that I was using, “I am”.  For example…“I am helpless.” or “I am angry.” Using  “I am” is like placing an equal sign between you and the emotion - you equal whatever emotion you are experiencing. In my case, I equaled helpless and anger.  But in reality I wasn’t anger or helpless.  I decided to make a major mind shift and now when I am feeling helpless or feeling any emotion - I instead replace it with, “I am choosing to hold onto anger instead of I am angry”.  That left me with the choice to continue or to stop holding onto whatever emotion I was experiencing.  This reframe allowed me to let go of an emotion at will, instead of claiming it as a constant state of mind.

2.     The SECOND thing I was using were “why” questions.  For example, “Why did this happen to me?” and “Why can’t I be stronger?” Other questions I have heard past clients ask are, “Why can’t I lose weight?”, “Why can’t I motivate myself?” and  “Why can’t I make more money?” All of these statements are problem focused, without an answer or solution - keeping us stuck in the overriding question of  “why”.  For example, the statement, “Why can’t I lose weight.” – makes the mind then think – hummm I can’t lose weight because…and we then answer our own question through our current mindset – and if we aren’t in a great place we may respond with….because I can’t achieve anything in life – because I am a loser – and the negative answers will keep coming up and not help us lose weight because the self-talk is not solution based. Try using the word HOW instead.    Ask yourself…”HOW can I lose weight?” “HOW can I be stronger?” “HOW can I not focus on my circumstances?”  HOW, focuses on solutions, things you can do about the statement. Solutions that will put you into motion.

The moral of the story – reframe your self-talk and you will be able to break free of what’s holding you back and move into an action based, positive mindset.  A clearer vision and focus will give you no choice but to have your best year ever in 2017! The Year of the SKY…

What's your ONE WORD for 2017?

What's Your ONE WORD for 2017? 

       It was Christmas Eve, the sun had set and my grandchildren were opening gifts. Katie, my stepdaughter, whispered to me that Hunter, her first grader, had been questioning the validity of Santa Claus.  I was sad to hear the news.
       A short time later my son-in-law, Steve, decided to check out if the lake in front of our house was completely frozen. He asked Hunter to tag along, which, of course, he enthusiastically agreed.
      What they didn't know was that earlier in the day my son, Theodore who was visiting from California, had been fooling around on the dock and had decided to walk on the lake and test out if it was frozen.  It had snowed part of the day so Theodore's little experiment had left fresh footprints in the snow on the surface of the lake.
      When Steve and Hunter arrived at the end of the dock Hunter saw the footprints and screamed, "Santa was here - look at the footprints and the sled marks! It's unbelievable, Santa was here."
       Steve not knowing quite what to say, said nothing, thank goodness. He played along with Hunter's excitement and they both came running back into the house looking for a cell phone so they could take photos of Santa's tracks and show them to us.
       Once they retrieved copies of the photos from the printer Hunter began running and jumping around showing everyone Santa's footprints, while at the same time pointing his finger toward the huge window that overlooks the lake. Miraculously, at that very moment an airplane with flashing lights was flying over the lake preparing to land at Toledo  Express.
      Hunter became completely overwhelmed with joy, "It's Santa it's Santa - look, he's headed this way. It's unbelievable - I need to go home and put out cookies and milk. Come on mom we need to leave now! This is unbelievable."
      The gift from this story? Hunter will believe in Santa one more year. How wonderful! The moral of the story?  Don't let anyone convince you otherwise about the validity of your beliefs or your dreams.
      Because of Hunter's rediscovery of the magic of Santa Claus and how "unbelievable" it was for him, I have chosen UNBELIEVABLE as my One Word for 2017! 

Discover how to go about choosing your ON WORD for 2017.