How Language Makes You Stuck!
This
past weekend I was having a BIG come apart and feeling extremely sorry for
myself. All I could think about was what I wasn’t able to achieve in my life
and business because of my circumstances.
I’m sure you have never done that?? But just in case you have, I spent
some time reflecting on my current mindset so I could figure out specifically
what was going on. Finally, I realized
my negative outlook was the result of my language and self-talk. I was using
seemingly innocent words to sabotage myself.
1.
The FIRST thing I noticed was that I was using, “I am”. For example…“I am helpless.” or “I am angry.”
Using “I am” is like placing an equal
sign between you and the emotion - you equal whatever emotion you are experiencing.
In my case, I equaled helpless and anger.
But in reality I wasn’t anger or helpless. I decided to make a major mind shift and now when
I am feeling helpless or feeling any emotion - I instead replace it with, “I am
choosing to hold onto anger instead of I am angry”. That left me with the choice to continue or
to stop holding onto whatever emotion I was experiencing. This reframe allowed me to let go of an
emotion at will, instead of claiming it as a constant state of mind.
2.
The SECOND
thing I was using were “why” questions.
For example, “Why did this happen to me?” and “Why can’t I be stronger?”
Other questions I have heard past clients ask are, “Why can’t I lose weight?”,
“Why can’t I motivate myself?” and “Why
can’t I make more money?” All of these statements are problem focused, without
an answer or solution - keeping us stuck in the overriding question of “why”.
For example, the statement, “Why can’t I lose weight.” – makes the mind
then think – hummm I can’t lose weight because…and we then answer our own
question through our current mindset – and if we aren’t in a great place we may
respond with….because I can’t achieve anything in life – because I am a loser –
and the negative answers will keep coming up and not help us lose weight
because the self-talk is not solution based. Try using the word HOW instead. Ask yourself…”HOW can I lose weight?” “HOW
can I be stronger?” “HOW can I not focus on my circumstances?” HOW, focuses on solutions, things you can do
about the statement. Solutions that will put you into motion.
The moral of the story – reframe
your self-talk and you will be able to break free of what’s holding you back
and move into an action based, positive mindset. A clearer vision and focus will give you no choice
but to have your best year ever in 2017! The Year of the SKY…
